Entry tags:
- albert nye the science guy,
- approaching canon levels of absurdity,
- back off he knows what he's doing,
- can you taste the science,
- dammit cardiac arrest,
- dammit gandhina,
- everything is stupid forever,
- hey look he has a heart,
- hit the deck it's agent rosenflower,
- i'm here the day is saved,
- kinda like a mythbusters episode,
- let's do science to it,
- making labcoats sexy since 1989,
- nothing but shenanigans forever,
- professional at work,
- secretly kind of a geek actually,
- seriously fucking cool shit,
- shenanigans are imminent,
- spoink lifesaving pacemaker surgery,
- talk science to me baby,
- welcome to the justice farm of science,
- why would you ever,
- why yes he did just do that,
- ▶ saffron city
010 | Saffron City | Video;
[The video here opens with a shot of Albert's lab, rendered sideways and slightly covered in drool, as viewed from somewhere vaguely floor-level — which would lead to the logical conclusion that the Gear must've come on as a result of Gandhina fetching it, and it's just been deposited at its current vantage point courtesy of its shaggy, overenthusiastic courier.
Albert, at least, doesn't seem to have noticed he's being filmed; he's busy crouching a short distance away, fiddling with something that the camera angle can't quite make out.]
All right, you little bouncy pig, let's see how you're doing.
[He proceeds to shuffle around with something, accompanied by the occasional squeaky oink of what is presumably the aforementioned bouncy pig in question; meanwhile, Gandhina's shaggy nose appears on camera, cheerfully depositing what look like a couple of Ping-Pong-ball-sized Pokeballs near the Gear before disappearing again.]
Looks good...looks okay...yeah. Okay. Ready to get mobile again? Yeah, I know, this is asking a lot of a pig so phenomenally stupid from a basic evolutionary standpoint, but let's shoot for the stars here, huh? All right, get your little...hand over there...damn, it's not long enough. Impy, go get a couple of popsicle sticks out of the kitchen —
[Gandhina's nose reappears again; more of the balls are deposited. A few seconds later, a Sableye appears with the requested popsicle sticks and hands them over, and now the sound of ripping tape can be heard.]
Better? Good. Then we'll just get you secured...
[More ripping tape; more eager oinking.]
There. All right, go on, you little pipsqueak.
[And with that, Albert gets to his feet, unintentionally unveiling — what appears to be a Spoink with its little chest wrapped in bandages, seated comfortably in a little chair and harness apparatus, which is in turn secured to the top of a brightly-colored RC car with big rubber treads. The controller, in turn, is secured in front of the chair and harness in about the place that a steering wheel would be, and the joystick controls now have popsicle sticks affixed to them, putting them in reach of the Spoink's tiny arms.
After a moment of fumbling, the Spoink manages to get one of the levers pushed forward, and the car whirs to life, driving forward and jerking to a stop about a foot ahead of its previous position. It tries again; after a few similar false starts, the electric whine picks up and the RC car hurtles out of sight, taking one exceedingly delighted Spoink with it.]
That's gonna get real obnoxious real fast. ...Ah, hell. It's still better than having it bounce all over the damn place. Who the hell comes up with — hmph. At least it looks like the pacemaker's doing its job.
[He turns around, apparently about to get back to work on his next project, and as Gandhina's nose reappears for a third time, suddenly Albert takes notice of her handiwork.]
...Dammit, Gandhina, did you fetch every one in the damn yard?!
[And as a pair of happy puppy jaws close over the Gear, the video ends.]
[OOC:I can't believe I am actually writing this sentence but Spoink lifesaving pacemaker installation is mod-approved. Action for anyone on the Justice Farm is, as always, welcome. o/]
Albert, at least, doesn't seem to have noticed he's being filmed; he's busy crouching a short distance away, fiddling with something that the camera angle can't quite make out.]
All right, you little bouncy pig, let's see how you're doing.
[He proceeds to shuffle around with something, accompanied by the occasional squeaky oink of what is presumably the aforementioned bouncy pig in question; meanwhile, Gandhina's shaggy nose appears on camera, cheerfully depositing what look like a couple of Ping-Pong-ball-sized Pokeballs near the Gear before disappearing again.]
Looks good...looks okay...yeah. Okay. Ready to get mobile again? Yeah, I know, this is asking a lot of a pig so phenomenally stupid from a basic evolutionary standpoint, but let's shoot for the stars here, huh? All right, get your little...hand over there...damn, it's not long enough. Impy, go get a couple of popsicle sticks out of the kitchen —
[Gandhina's nose reappears again; more of the balls are deposited. A few seconds later, a Sableye appears with the requested popsicle sticks and hands them over, and now the sound of ripping tape can be heard.]
Better? Good. Then we'll just get you secured...
[More ripping tape; more eager oinking.]
There. All right, go on, you little pipsqueak.
[And with that, Albert gets to his feet, unintentionally unveiling — what appears to be a Spoink with its little chest wrapped in bandages, seated comfortably in a little chair and harness apparatus, which is in turn secured to the top of a brightly-colored RC car with big rubber treads. The controller, in turn, is secured in front of the chair and harness in about the place that a steering wheel would be, and the joystick controls now have popsicle sticks affixed to them, putting them in reach of the Spoink's tiny arms.
After a moment of fumbling, the Spoink manages to get one of the levers pushed forward, and the car whirs to life, driving forward and jerking to a stop about a foot ahead of its previous position. It tries again; after a few similar false starts, the electric whine picks up and the RC car hurtles out of sight, taking one exceedingly delighted Spoink with it.]
That's gonna get real obnoxious real fast. ...Ah, hell. It's still better than having it bounce all over the damn place. Who the hell comes up with — hmph. At least it looks like the pacemaker's doing its job.
[He turns around, apparently about to get back to work on his next project, and as Gandhina's nose reappears for a third time, suddenly Albert takes notice of her handiwork.]
...Dammit, Gandhina, did you fetch every one in the damn yard?!
[And as a pair of happy puppy jaws close over the Gear, the video ends.]
[OOC:
[Audio]
THAT'S AMAZING, ALBERT. I HAD NO IDEA THAT POKEMON COULD DRIVE.
[Audio]
ANYTHING TO KEEP IT FROM BOUNCING AROUND THE WAY IT USED TO, GORDON.
[Audio]
[He's not really familiar with Spoink's bouncing issues.]
WAS THE POUNCING THAT MUCH OF A PROBLEM?
[Also, he may have misheard something.]
[Audio]
THE THING DOESN'T HAVE FEET, AND IT BOUNCES TO PUMP ITS HEART. STOP IT FROM BOUNCING AND THE DAMN THING GOES INTO CARDIAC ARREST.
[Audio]
Wait.]
SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT IF THIS THING STOPS BOUNCING, THEN ITS HEART GIVES OUT?
[That's...wow. He's glad he doesn't have one of those.]
[Audio]
[Because he is NOTHING BUT BOSS, thank you very much.]
[Audio]
[Yup. He's totally got this.]
THAT'S A BRILLIANT SOLUTION, ALBERT.
[Audio]
ASSUMING WE CAN ALL TOLERATE HAVING HER ZIPPING AROUND UNDERFOOT IN THAT RACE CAR OF HERS.
[Audio]
[Wouldn't that be something though? The world's first Spoink stuntcar driver.]
[Audio]
Wait a minute. He's talking about a biologically implausible springbutt pig. Seriousness is right out.]
WE'RE JUST ON THE TEST RUN, ANYWAY. IF SHE DOES FLIP IT, I'LL ADJUST THE CAR TO COMPENSATE.
[Audio]
[So no flipping.]
HERE'S HOPING IT GOES WELL.
[Audio]