worktodo | 008 | Saffron City

[Ladies and gentlemen of Johto and Kanto, something rather odd is afoot on your network today. Upon closer inspection, it appears to be the ceiling of some kind of garage-like room, rendered in video and slo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-owly moving past at a glacial — yet determined — pace. In fact, it's probably what the ceiling would look like if a Gear camera was pointed at it while that aforementioned Gear was being stolen by a pair of Shuckles.

Which, as a matter of fact, is exactly what's happening.

Unfortunately for these criminal masterminds, their getaway is moving at approximately the speed of molasses left out on a park bench in Siberia, so more likely than not they're going to be noticed before anything productive comes of it.]

Well, you look like you check out, pal...

[—and apparently Albert is somewhere in the vicinity, too, given the proximity of his voice as, presumably unbeknownst to him, his Gear goes Shuckling across the floor.]

No obvious growths, no changes in teeth or coat, eyes still look bright, appetite's good...

[The purple head and glittering diamond eyes of a Sableye creep into view on the camera now, disrupting the slow-moving shot of the ceiling, and a minute later things go dark as two little clawed hands close over the lens and Gear.]

Huh. Doesn't look like there's an upper limit to these things after all. Never mind the fact that education of yours just cost as much as grad school, if not — what're you doing, Impy? Don't play with that. Just leave it there, it's fine.

[The darkness recedes, and now the Gear is on its side on a lab table — one currently covered in the pieces of fifteen broken TMs — and Albert is visible next to it. He's wearing his lab coat and gloves as usual, and is holding a Buneary who is rather nonchalantly nibbling at a piece of lettuce.

Albert continues his inspection of the Buneary another few moments, then checks his watch and heads out of sight, still carrying the Pokemon in his arms.]

Sweep and Scrappy can take care of the mess. Let's get you back in the cage, Bruce.

[And on that note, purple hands descend again, and after a few buttons click, the Gear switches off.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Not really, but Rosie keeps picking up stuff and showing it to me. I've seen some neat rocks. Let's back up for a second, though — why do you need a rabbit that can summon lightning?

[...wait.

Harry knows why.]

Lemme guess. Science?

Which one is Rosie? Is that the pink one that swore at me?

[SHE CALLED HIM A MOTHERFUCKER, OKAY. HE WILL NOT LET THIS GO.]

Logic. How the hell does a rabbit summon lightning, anyway? And how the hell do you teach it to do that just by cracking a big plastic cookie over its head?

The pink one is Clara; Rosie's my sparkly green bear cub.

[And there is no mention of swearing because LIKE HELL THAT HAPPENED.]

I'm not sure whether I should be glad or worried that I'm not around for this one. Shouldn't you have some heavy-duty rubber gloves?

Be careful with the mutant bear. It might be the Incredible Hulk in disguise.

[He just got done with Bruce; sue him, he's got comics on the brain.]

Maybe I didn't want to give him ideas.

You know what grizzly bears look like, right?

[Yeah, that's a smirk.]

She's not disguising anything — she just hasn't grown into her full mutant glory yet. Wait 'til she evolves.

[Then, a pause. Harry's thinking, and it doesn't look like he's a fan of whatever he just realized.]

...and you put the electric rabbit in a cage.

I've never found myself on the wrong end of one, if that's what you're getting at. Try to stay the same way, huh?

[Albert just kind of looks at him.]

You really think I didn't abomination-proof the cage before I put him in it? It's wood. Reinforced, so it should hold him off long enough for somebody to notice if he tries to make a great escape.

Did I mention that I also have a polar bear cub?

[Albert's response makes Harry look off to the side for a moment, a sheepish, knee-jerk reaction that he tries to play off as checking the surrounding area for signs of Stuff.]

Just making sure. You're positive he won't find a way out of there with all his new skills? He doesn't know Teleport, does he?

[Someone's been poking through the annotated Pokémon guide he got for Christmas!]

Which one's Yogi and which one's Boo Boo?

[...WAIT, HOLD EVERYTHING.]

...what do you mean, Teleport? There are ones that can do that?

Theodore and Roosevelt, actually.

[And cue blinking. Harry knew something Albert didn't? WHAT IS GOING ON?]

Certain Psychic types, yeah. I'm guessing that's not what Bruce is, but if you've slapped all those other moves on him...

[He trails off, thinking.]

If you didn't just teach it to him — and I'm guessing by your reaction that you didn't — then there's no way he'd just spontaneously learn it.

It's bad enough that these things can summon down lightning and thunder and shoot fireballs and whatever else. Are you comfortable with the idea of one of them also being able to pop in and out through your locked doors at will?

[This is really pushing his last vestiges of suspension of disbelief right now, Harry.]

I've never seen any of the kid's do it, and he's got a bunch of psychics. Coop's cat is one, too. [A beat.] And that big fox of his girlfriend's.

Albert, I'm not comfortable with much of anything here. This is just something else to add to the list.

Anyway, off the top of my head, I know that Abra can do it. If you want, I can check the guide I have with me, see if I can find out which others can learn it.

[HELPING! c: ]

Abra. That's the fox thing.

[...well, shit, that thing can teleport? Damn, Coop's girlfriend is into being able to travel in a hurry.]

If you do, let me know. Might come in handy someday.

[Oh, look at how unsurprised Harry is to hear that Carmen has a thing that can teleport.]

I'll check after I've set up camp for the night.

[He glances down at his watch.]

...which won't be for a while.

You're camping. Outside. In January.

[This isn't a surprise, he was aware that this would be happening given the whole "being on the road" thing and all, but it's so phenomenally stupid that it bears repeating anyway.]

So are you gonna have your head on straight when you get back from this little nature walk?

I'm in the middle of Route 5. Is there a hotel out here no one's told me about?

[ಠ_ಠ ...

Harry considers shrugging Albert's comment off to instead run with his TRAIN ALL THE 'MONS! story, but he allows himself to look somber for a few seconds. The resulting shrug is simply one of his shoulders.]

I guess we'll see.

You never know, you might mistake a tree for one. Keep your feet on the ground, Tarzan.

[Also did you know you're from a small town in the backwoods, Harry, SEE HE'S MAKING FUN OF THAT just in case you forgot.]

And try hard to get it figured out.

Will do, Jane.

[Hey Albert did you know SHUT UP.]

I'll leave you a message when I have that list ready.

[And click, off goes the feed.]

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