Entry tags:
- albert nye the science guy,
- arceus help you all,
- back off he knows what he's doing,
- beware the shuckle mafia,
- bunearygeddon,
- can you taste the science,
- cave johnson eat your heart out,
- dammit bruce,
- dammit impy,
- everything is stupid forever,
- here to kick ass and autopsy bodies,
- hit the deck it's agent rosenflower,
- i've got work to do dammit,
- kinda like a mythbusters episode,
- let's do science to it,
- making labcoats sexy since 1989,
- professional at work,
- seriously fucking cool shit,
- shenanigans are imminent,
- talk science to me baby,
- welcome to the justice farm of science,
- where the hell is my lab,
- why would you ever,
- ▶ saffron city
008 | Saffron City | Video;
[Ladies and gentlemen of Johto and Kanto, something rather odd is afoot on your network today. Upon closer inspection, it appears to be the ceiling of some kind of garage-like room, rendered in video and slo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-owly moving past at a glacial — yet determined — pace. In fact, it's probably what the ceiling would look like if a Gear camera was pointed at it while that aforementioned Gear was being stolen by a pair of Shuckles.
Which, as a matter of fact, is exactly what's happening.
Unfortunately for these criminal masterminds, their getaway is moving at approximately the speed of molasses left out on a park bench in Siberia, so more likely than not they're going to be noticed before anything productive comes of it.]
Well, you look like you check out, pal...
[—and apparently Albert is somewhere in the vicinity, too, given the proximity of his voice as, presumably unbeknownst to him, his Gear goes Shuckling across the floor.]
No obvious growths, no changes in teeth or coat, eyes still look bright, appetite's good...
[The purple head and glittering diamond eyes of a Sableye creep into view on the camera now, disrupting the slow-moving shot of the ceiling, and a minute later things go dark as two little clawed hands close over the lens and Gear.]
Huh. Doesn't look like there's an upper limit to these things after all. Never mind the fact that education of yours just cost as much as grad school, if not — what're you doing, Impy? Don't play with that. Just leave it there, it's fine.
[The darkness recedes, and now the Gear is on its side on a lab table — one currently covered in the pieces of fifteen broken TMs — and Albert is visible next to it. He's wearing his lab coat and gloves as usual, and is holding a Buneary who is rather nonchalantly nibbling at a piece of lettuce.
Albert continues his inspection of the Buneary another few moments, then checks his watch and heads out of sight, still carrying the Pokemon in his arms.]
Sweep and Scrappy can take care of the mess. Let's get you back in the cage, Bruce.
[And on that note, purple hands descend again, and after a few buttons click, the Gear switches off.]
Which, as a matter of fact, is exactly what's happening.
Unfortunately for these criminal masterminds, their getaway is moving at approximately the speed of molasses left out on a park bench in Siberia, so more likely than not they're going to be noticed before anything productive comes of it.]
Well, you look like you check out, pal...
[—and apparently Albert is somewhere in the vicinity, too, given the proximity of his voice as, presumably unbeknownst to him, his Gear goes Shuckling across the floor.]
No obvious growths, no changes in teeth or coat, eyes still look bright, appetite's good...
[The purple head and glittering diamond eyes of a Sableye creep into view on the camera now, disrupting the slow-moving shot of the ceiling, and a minute later things go dark as two little clawed hands close over the lens and Gear.]
Huh. Doesn't look like there's an upper limit to these things after all. Never mind the fact that education of yours just cost as much as grad school, if not — what're you doing, Impy? Don't play with that. Just leave it there, it's fine.
[The darkness recedes, and now the Gear is on its side on a lab table — one currently covered in the pieces of fifteen broken TMs — and Albert is visible next to it. He's wearing his lab coat and gloves as usual, and is holding a Buneary who is rather nonchalantly nibbling at a piece of lettuce.
Albert continues his inspection of the Buneary another few moments, then checks his watch and heads out of sight, still carrying the Pokemon in his arms.]
Sweep and Scrappy can take care of the mess. Let's get you back in the cage, Bruce.
[And on that note, purple hands descend again, and after a few buttons click, the Gear switches off.]
[video]
[Albert just kind of looks at him.]
You really think I didn't abomination-proof the cage before I put him in it? It's wood. Reinforced, so it should hold him off long enough for somebody to notice if he tries to make a great escape.
[video]
[Albert's response makes Harry look off to the side for a moment, a sheepish, knee-jerk reaction that he tries to play off as checking the surrounding area for signs of Stuff.]
Just making sure. You're positive he won't find a way out of there with all his new skills? He doesn't know Teleport, does he?
[Someone's been poking through the annotated Pokémon guide he got for Christmas!]
[video]
[...WAIT, HOLD EVERYTHING.]
...what do you mean, Teleport? There are ones that can do that?
[video]
[And cue blinking. Harry knew something Albert didn't? WHAT IS GOING ON?]
Certain Psychic types, yeah. I'm guessing that's not what Bruce is, but if you've slapped all those other moves on him...
[He trails off, thinking.]
If you didn't just teach it to him — and I'm guessing by your reaction that you didn't — then there's no way he'd just spontaneously learn it.
[video]
[This is really pushing his last vestiges of suspension of disbelief right now, Harry.]
I've never seen any of the kid's do it, and he's got a bunch of psychics. Coop's cat is one, too. [A beat.] And that big fox of his girlfriend's.
[video]
Anyway, off the top of my head, I know that Abra can do it. If you want, I can check the guide I have with me, see if I can find out which others can learn it.
[HELPING! c: ]
[video]
[...well, shit, that thing can teleport? Damn, Coop's girlfriend is into being able to travel in a hurry.]
If you do, let me know. Might come in handy someday.
[video]
I'll check after I've set up camp for the night.
[He glances down at his watch.]
...which won't be for a while.
[video]
[This isn't a surprise, he was aware that this would be happening given the whole "being on the road" thing and all, but it's so phenomenally stupid that it bears repeating anyway.]
So are you gonna have your head on straight when you get back from this little nature walk?
[video]
[ಠ_ಠ ...
Harry considers shrugging Albert's comment off to instead run with his TRAIN ALL THE 'MONS! story, but he allows himself to look somber for a few seconds. The resulting shrug is simply one of his shoulders.]
I guess we'll see.
[video]
[Also did you know you're from a small town in the backwoods, Harry, SEE HE'S MAKING FUN OF THAT just in case you forgot.]
And try hard to get it figured out.
[video]
[Hey Albert did you know SHUT UP.]
I'll leave you a message when I have that list ready.
[And click, off goes the feed.]