Voicemail

[worktodo]

"Whatever you want, make it fast — I've got work to do, dammit!"

(Or just come harass him in person over here on the Farm!)

Comments

may 1st - audio

[newberktown]

[Wait, does this mean Hiccup's in charge?

...Who the heck leaves Hiccup in charge?]

You know Albert, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were worried about us.

may 1st - audio

[worktodo]

[It's called being a whistleblower, kid. You know how to be a whistleblower? YOU BLOW WHISTLES. IT'S NOT COMPLICATED.]

Worrying about you buffoons is Cooper's job. If I'm doing anything, it's just to pick up his damn slack.

may 1st - audio

[newberktown]

[Man, if anyone could screw up blowing a whistle, it'd be Hiccup. And he'd cut his lip in the process.]

I'm sure he'll appreciate that, when he finds out.

[Hiccup might be teasing, but he also...kind of means it...]

may 1st - audio

[worktodo]

He better.

[DAMMIT, COOP.]

Oh, yeah, and don't forget when you get back — stay away from the back forty, by the trees. We've got the flesh-eating snowflake chained up out there.

may 1st - audio

[newberktown]

When did you get a flesh-eating snowflake? Wait, how did a flesh-eating snowflake?

[Without it...eating your flesh...]

may 1st - audio

[worktodo]

Gandhina tried to play with it at the prom. Dummy and Sheriff took care of it, apparently, and you don't exactly just leave a four hundred pound snowflake knocked out on your host's back lawn.

So it came with us.

may 1st - audio

[newberktown]

[Sweet, darling, innocent Gandhina...]

That was...oddly polite of you. I think. [Just how big is this thing that it weighs four hundred pounds, what the hell.] What are you going to do with it when summer comes around?

may 1st - audio

[worktodo]

[Sweet, stupid, patently oblivious Gandhina. It really is a good thing he loves that dumb mutt as much as he does.]

Well, it's too big to shove in the fridge. Maybe we'll build it an igloo and hope it doesn't melt. Or a swimming pool or something.

may 1st - audio

[newberktown]

Can we build a swimming pool?

[PLEASE, UNCLE ALBERT, PLEEEEEASE.]

may 1st - audio

[worktodo]

...You want a swimming pool.

[SON, HE WAS KIDDING.]

may 1st - audio

[newberktown]

I think I may die if we don't get one.

[He sounds pretty serious there, Uncle Albert.]

may 1st - audio

[worktodo]

[CAN YOU JUST HEAR HIM JUDGING YOU IN THE SILENCE THAT ENSUES HERE.

JUDGING SO HARD.]

Well, golly gee, I'll run right outside and start digging one, then.

[No, seriously, you have got to be kidding.]

Do you even know how to swim?

may 1st - audio

[newberktown]

[What? It's not his fault summer wasn't included in Berk's four seasons--spring, fall, winter, and devastating winter!]

Albert, I grew up on an island, okay? Of course I can swim.

may 1st - audio

[worktodo]

[Whereas at the Justice Farm, there is only one season: the winter of Albert's discontent.]

And you think the money and muscle for this is what, just gonna fall out of the sky?

may 1st - audio

[newberktown]

I'll pay for it! And I'll help, too, I promise!

[DO YOU WANT TO WATCH HIM CHILL IN A POOL WITH SNOWFLAKE JAWS OR DO YOU WANT TO BE SLICING HIS CORPSE OPEN IN THE LAB?]

may 1st - audio

[worktodo]

[Hnnnngh.

HRRRGHNGH.

FNNNNNAGH.]

All right, the next time I'm in town, I'm gonna find a contractor and get some price and work quotes. And then out of you I better see a payment schedule, a ground plan for where we're putting the damn thing, a timetable for how we're getting it in, the whole bit, you got it? You want this thing, you better be ready to do the legwork for it.

may 1st - audio

[newberktown]

Absolutely, you got it!

[AHAHAHAHAHA, SWIMMING POOL. HE WINS. TAKE THAT, SUMMER. It had been tough, but things were finally coming up Hiccup.]

Looks like this summer won't be so terrible, after all.