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Entry tags:
- and why is he so angry,
- approaching canon levels of absurdity,
- arceus help you all,
- best coworkers ever,
- everything is stupid forever,
- here to kick ass and autopsy bodies,
- hit the deck it's agent rosenflower,
- i love you but only like gandhi,
- i'm here the day is saved,
- i've got work to do dammit,
- like sherman in atlanta,
- making labcoats sexy since 1989,
- nothing but shenanigans forever,
- shenanigans are imminent,
- so i heard you like manhugs,
- stocking up on aspirin,
- this is all coop's fault somehow,
- welcome to the justice farm of science,
- where the hell is my lab,
- ▶ saffron city
011 | Saffron City | Action;
[So here's Albert.
Since coming to Johto, Albert's seen a lot of wacky shit go down. He's seen people mutating into some kind of hideous hybrid creature from an airborne mutant virus. He's seen ledges that defy the laws of physics. He's seen dragons and dinosaurs and aliens. He's seen people who claim beyond a shadow of a doubt to be actual ponies. He's been yelled at by a teenage Viking. He's been flown all over creation on a bird with clouds for wings and carried forcibly around by a giant green sparklegrizzly and endured patently stupid roadtrips that involved caves and forests and god only knows what else. He's been taunted by ghosts. He's been assaulted with puppies. He's fallen in a really big hole.
He's survived the freaking Armageddon and still didn't let it ruin Christmas.
And now, here on the third day of this latest bout of flagrant insanity, in his quiet home in Saffron City with a brand new swimming pool sparkling in the yard and a snarling levitating three-hundred-pound flesh-eating snowflake snapping at the end of its chain near the outhouse, he is stepping outside to collect himself with a cup of coffee and a moment's peace—
...
And there is a BIG DAMN TREE TRANSPLANTED RIGHT INTO THE MIDDLE OF HIS FORMERLY PRISTINE SIDEWALK, and WHEN THE HELL DID THAT GET THERE and WHO THE HELL EVEN RIPS UP A TREE AND—
...
...
Silently, Albert sips his coffee.
Just another day in Johto, apparently.]
Since coming to Johto, Albert's seen a lot of wacky shit go down. He's seen people mutating into some kind of hideous hybrid creature from an airborne mutant virus. He's seen ledges that defy the laws of physics. He's seen dragons and dinosaurs and aliens. He's seen people who claim beyond a shadow of a doubt to be actual ponies. He's been yelled at by a teenage Viking. He's been flown all over creation on a bird with clouds for wings and carried forcibly around by a giant green sparklegrizzly and endured patently stupid roadtrips that involved caves and forests and god only knows what else. He's been taunted by ghosts. He's been assaulted with puppies. He's fallen in a really big hole.
He's survived the freaking Armageddon and still didn't let it ruin Christmas.
And now, here on the third day of this latest bout of flagrant insanity, in his quiet home in Saffron City with a brand new swimming pool sparkling in the yard and a snarling levitating three-hundred-pound flesh-eating snowflake snapping at the end of its chain near the outhouse, he is stepping outside to collect himself with a cup of coffee and a moment's peace—
...
And there is a BIG DAMN TREE TRANSPLANTED RIGHT INTO THE MIDDLE OF HIS FORMERLY PRISTINE SIDEWALK, and WHEN THE HELL DID THAT GET THERE and WHO THE HELL EVEN RIPS UP A TREE AND—
...
...
Silently, Albert sips his coffee.
Just another day in Johto, apparently.]
no subject
Andy is wearing a pair of bright orange swimming trunks with a rather large (and obnoxious) floatation device around his waist standing poolside.
He gives his ol' pal, Albert a friendly wave.]
no subject
...What.
[No wait, hang on, he will articulate that better when he's not trying so hard to contain the full force of his scathing vitriol that he's been reduced to monosyllabic discourse.]
What. Are you doing.
no subject
Probably science related.]
Going swimming?
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And you really don't think there's anything in the world you could possibly be doing that's a little more important than that?
no subject
Think, think, think...
Something important...]
But it's hot outside, Agent Rosenfield.
[Nope.]
no subject
...It's just sad, really.]
Well, aren't you a sharp-eyed gumshoe all of a sudden. You figure that out all by yourself?
no subject
[Harry would be so proud of his deductive skillz. c:]
no subject
Albert, meanwhile, is just seething.]
Brilliant.
no subject
Um, can Cookie come for a swim too?
[Y'know, that big dumb Onix just chilling right behind the Justice Farm.]
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[For a man with Pokemon named Thing, What The Hell, Cardiac Arrest, and Fingers McGee, Albert sure is unimaginative about who precisely "Cookie" could be. Who the hell names a thirty-foot rock snake "Cookie"?
...Deputy Andy Brennan, clearly.]
You honestly think an animate chain of rocks is gonna want to dive in for a little time in the pool?
no subject
[He is legitimately concerned about this.]
It's just a baby!
[LEGITIMATELY CONCERNED.]
no subject
[DAMMIT ANDY.]
no subject
[whisperwhisper.]
Can you uh- keep that a secret? Cookie is real sensitive about her weight.
no subject
[ANDYYYYYYYY.]
And she's not going in the pool.