worktodo | 008 | Saffron City

[Ladies and gentlemen of Johto and Kanto, something rather odd is afoot on your network today. Upon closer inspection, it appears to be the ceiling of some kind of garage-like room, rendered in video and slo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-owly moving past at a glacial — yet determined — pace. In fact, it's probably what the ceiling would look like if a Gear camera was pointed at it while that aforementioned Gear was being stolen by a pair of Shuckles.

Which, as a matter of fact, is exactly what's happening.

Unfortunately for these criminal masterminds, their getaway is moving at approximately the speed of molasses left out on a park bench in Siberia, so more likely than not they're going to be noticed before anything productive comes of it.]

Well, you look like you check out, pal...

[—and apparently Albert is somewhere in the vicinity, too, given the proximity of his voice as, presumably unbeknownst to him, his Gear goes Shuckling across the floor.]

No obvious growths, no changes in teeth or coat, eyes still look bright, appetite's good...

[The purple head and glittering diamond eyes of a Sableye creep into view on the camera now, disrupting the slow-moving shot of the ceiling, and a minute later things go dark as two little clawed hands close over the lens and Gear.]

Huh. Doesn't look like there's an upper limit to these things after all. Never mind the fact that education of yours just cost as much as grad school, if not — what're you doing, Impy? Don't play with that. Just leave it there, it's fine.

[The darkness recedes, and now the Gear is on its side on a lab table — one currently covered in the pieces of fifteen broken TMs — and Albert is visible next to it. He's wearing his lab coat and gloves as usual, and is holding a Buneary who is rather nonchalantly nibbling at a piece of lettuce.

Albert continues his inspection of the Buneary another few moments, then checks his watch and heads out of sight, still carrying the Pokemon in his arms.]

Sweep and Scrappy can take care of the mess. Let's get you back in the cage, Bruce.

[And on that note, purple hands descend again, and after a few buttons click, the Gear switches off.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm not letting him run around without supervision, that's for sure. In the grand scheme of things he's probably no more nasty than one of your dragons or any other of these things, but that still doesn't mean it's a great idea to let a rabbit that can summon down bolts of lightning have free rein of the house.

I'm not talking about free rein of the house, just... I can take him for walks and stuff, if you want.

[And his dragons aren't nasty. Only, like...two of them are. Three if you count dinosaurs.]

You want to play with Bruce?

[Unsure...if this is a good idea...

On one hand, it's better than leaving him in a cage all day.

On the other hand, Hiccup.]

We need to get him a leash first.

[WOW, RUDE.]

He's not a dog, Albert. [In case you didn't know.] Besides, if he's playing, he won't be wanting to run away and destroy a city.

[Pause.]

Why did you make it so that he can do that, anyway?

Unless that's his idea of playing. You wanna take chances with a rabbit like that?

[...On second thought, does he really want an answer to that question?]

Logic would dictate that when you take an ordinary rabbit and then magically give it the power to spit a jet of water fifty feet, the biological structures that let it do that ought to appear from somewhere. So I hit him with a bunch of disks looking to see if any physical changes manifested. They didn't, and now he knows fifteen new tricks.

[...This is the kid who saw a fire-breathing death machine and thought to himself I'm gonna ride it.]

Huh... [Get on your thinking helmets, boys and girls!] Maybe it already has the biological structures and the disks just make it remember how to use them? Like how pokemon with wings can't carry passengers until they learn Fly.

Good hypothesis.

[HOLY SHIT WAS THAT APPROVAL FROM ALBERT ROSENFIELD WHAT IS HAPPENING.]

That's why we're using a rabbit in the first place. Traditionally, you don't see rabbits with the ability to call down lightning. So the idea is, we pick a subject that shouldn't have any capacity for the ability we're giving it, and then we give it to him. And see if anything changed.

[GREAT ODIN'S GHOST, WHAT IS GETTING APPROVAL FROM ANYONE BUT CARMEN.]

...What's traditional about any of the creatures here?

Kid, we're attempting to pretend this place follows at least some semblance of basic logic somewhere along the line, because if it doesn't my head's going to explode. Okay?

Fair enough... [Hiccup sighs.] Even so, you can't just assume Bruce is a normal rabbit because he looks like one. Maybe he already had some kind of weird organ that gave him the power of Thor, instead of magically having it now because of a disk. That could still make it a dormant ability with a natural explanation.

He sure could've. And if he were dead, I'd open him up and we could find out for sure. But since that's not going to happen anytime soon, we're stuck with what we've got.

[Do you see that wrinkling of Hiccup's nose, Albert?]

Thank the gods for that.

[BECAUSE YUCK, ALBERT.]

So I can take him out, though, right?

[SURE DOES. It never gets old.]

You can take him out on a tether. And he doesn't leave the house. No running around outside, got it?

[Uncle Albert is such a jerk.]

You really don't think it'll be better for him to be outside? What's the harm if he'll be on a tether?

[Antsy dragons were a pain, and he has no doubt that a powered-up rabbit would be, too.]

[He would not be Uncle Albert if he were anything else.]

Have you ever spent time around a rabbit? They eat everything. I don't want him to eat through it and suddenly decide to go be a free-ranging crime against humanity instead.

I train dragons. They're a lot alike, apparently.

[Hey, at least the bunny can't fly. That would make the situation infinitely worse.]

[Only because Albert hasn't gotten the idea of strapping model rocket engines to it yet.]

I get the feeling if a dragon tries to make a quick exit, it's pretty likely you're gonna see where it's going as it runs.

[Poor Bruce...]

Depends how fast it's going. The Gronckle and the Zippleback--yeah, you'll probably notice them leaving. A Night Fury would be harder. [DANG, some of those dragons are speedy.] And Terrible Terrors are small enough to get away quietly, if they want.

And this is how you're trying to convince me that I should let you be the only thing standing between Bruce the Wunderbunny and the world at large?

[...Oh right.]

--But! The point is that I am good with dragons, and since Bruce is apparently a dragon a heart in your worst-case scenario, I should be good with Bruce!

Besides, he looks harmless. Even if he's able to summon lightning, it doesn't mean he will.

Are you aware of how many logical fallacies you just managed to pack into a span of about three sentences?

You want to take him out, then right now he stays in the house. We'll reevaluate after we see how this new education affects him, if at all.

Is, uh... Is that a good thing? [Everyone's gotta be skilled at something, right? Maybe Hiccup was just especially good at...logical fallacies...

He can tell he's been defeated, though. Dang.] Fine, fine. House-only for now. But if he gets bored and breaks something, it's not my fault.

Not unless you like being completely and utterly wrong.

Or you could watch him and head him off at the pass before he tries, how about that?

[SIIIIGH.]

You're no fun.

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