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Entry tags:
- and why is he so angry,
- arceus help you all,
- back off he knows what he's doing,
- been eating the local mushrooms,
- dammit dummy,
- dammit gandhina,
- everything is stupid forever,
- here to kick ass and autopsy bodies,
- hit the deck it's agent rosenflower,
- i'm here the day is saved,
- i've got work to do dammit,
- let's do science to it,
- professional at work,
- scyther no scything,
- secretly kind of a geek actually,
- shenanigans are imminent,
- this is all coop's fault somehow,
- where the hell is my lab,
- ▶ saffron city
005 | Saffron City | Video / Action;
TESTING: VALIDATION
1212 Amber Lane, Saffron City, Kanto
Audio: (555) 765-3666 — Text: (555) 756-6732
John Deerling, Ph.D., Laboratory Director
Toxicology Report
Report Issued: 10/09/2012 14:40
Patient ID: 20H914G
Chain: 421335
Age/Level: 30L
Gender: M
Species: PARAS
Workorder: 125781
Specimens Received:
Tube/Container: CLEAR GLASS VIAL
Volume/Mass: 5g
Collection Date/Time: 9/01/1989
Matrix Source: "STUN" SPORE
Positive Findings:
[It's afternoon waning toward evening in Saffron City, and at the moment Albert Rosenfield can be found in one of the city's small Pokemon parks, a briefcase stowed securely on a nearby bench and a pink rubber ball in one hand. With him today are his Scyther, obediently hovering near the bench and briefcase like a good underling, and his Poochyena, who appears to be more interested in the ball than anything else.
Albert, meanwhile, is spending the majority of his time giving the ball a series of thoughtful squeezes in his hand while he thinks, but occasionally rears back and lets it fly in a surprisingly graceful arc — at which point Gandhina unfailingly tears off after it, paws scrabbling at the grass and dirt as she hurtles off into the distance to retrieve her toy.]
The problem isn't going to be isolating it, it's going to be getting it to stick around long enough to do any good. However those mushrooms came about, evolution or divine design, you've got to give them some credit — we're looking at pretty nasty stuff here. Direct contact ought to be the easier of the two to handle, once we come up some way of making the neutralizing agent stick. Respiratory...unless you've got any bright ideas, we're gonna need a mask.
[At this point, Gandhina comes charging back with a now-somewhat-slobbery ball in her teeth, and Albert crouches down to retrieve it from her, but sets it aside and stays down to examine her adorable puppy muzzle and jowls.]
Hold still, you dumb mutt — you know, I was going to say it'd be a problem to cut off the use of your jaws with a rig like that, but anything that keeps you from picking up everything under the sun —
[Pleased by the attention and presuming these words of her master's are praise, Gandhina's tail is wagging at about a mile a minute.]
Dummy, grab the tape measure and toss it over here. Not the easiest task in the world without a set of opposable thumbs, I know, but hey, you're a bright bug, I'm sure you're up to the challenge.
[And then, as a Scyther leans over to retrieve the aforementioned tape measure, he abruptly notices that the Gear is on and quickly — and probably a little guiltily — shuts it off.]
[Later, a more intentional bit of commentary from Albert hits the network.]
So whose bright idea was it to hide all the tolerable cities on the other end of a six-hour train ride? Skyscrapers, business districts, a concert hall. Five minutes out of the station and I'd already counted eight coffee peddlers.
Now all that's left is to turn a corner and come across a bakery selling thirty-one flavors of pie, and by golly, we'll have ourselves the makings of heaven here.
[Audio]
[Reid, why do you ask him all these things about Johto, it makes it very hard to pretend like he wants nothing to do with Johto when you are persistently inquiring after information about it.]
Double-check with one of the bubblegum-haired nurses to be sure, but I want to say he's in Azalea. It's some little town so far off the beaten path that I'm surprised anybody still remembers it exists. [And so naturally he will set foot there only over his dead body.] But don't look at me for the rest of it, I'm not the local geography guru around here.
[Audio]
Well, if I turn up there before you, I'll ask. My companion wants to collect badges and I'll probably have to too, so we'll probably end up going down there at some point regardless. [You and small towns, man.]
[Audio]
Where are you at right now, anyway? Over the river and through the woods?
[Audio]
Violet City. We've stopped here for the time being so she can earn the badge and I can explore the ruins. And, well, get a job. [Because they need money, unfortunately. It's weird to be doing anything other than profiling for a paycheck, though.]
[Audio]
Yeah? Then I've got some good news for you — in another day or so you're going to be in a certified Gordon-free city. Enjoy the peace and quiet.
[Audio]
Actually, I haven't seen Gordon in person once while I've been here, for some reason. He's who Cooper and Ms. Sandiego came to get, right?
[Audio]
Seeing him isn't the problem — it's hearing him that'll send you packing for the medicine cabinet.
[That's interesting, though. Sounds like something's been keeping Gordon busy, at least, which on one hand is good because it's Gordon, but on the other hand, when the boss gets busy, the ramifications usually trickle down to the employees. Namely, him.
Also, have a roll of his eyes.]
Yeah, that's right. Colonel Mustard and Miss Scarlet, in Violet City. With the Lead Pipe, I'm betting, but we're still waiting on the forensics. You ran into them?
[Audio]
The Clue crack makes him smile a little. Albert's sense of humor feels like a darker, more sardonic version of Garcia's.] Well, they both sort of ran into me. I was dealing with some misbehaving ghosts and both of them found me at some point on the street.
[Speaking of, both of them walk too quietly. Reid doesn't like being snuck up on.]
[Audio]
Misbehaving ghosts, huh? [This is so stupid, he cannot believe he is actually saying this but—] There are worse people you could run into when tangling with a mess like that. They get it straightened out for you?
[Y'know, considering Coop is basically a professional shaman and Carmen is some kind of ridiculous master Pokemon wrangler.]
[Audio]
Actually, it was Fluttershy who cleared it up for me. Have you met her?
I still don't really know what she said to them, but they've been behaving wonderfully ever since. [It's... kind of confusing, to be honest. Reid doesn't know what the hell she could have possibly said.]
[Audio]
You mean the pink-haired nutcase who thinks she's a pony? The one who just decided to play righteous crusader and get on my case because she thinks the way I talk to my animals constitutes abusing them? You better believe I've met her — she just spent the past twenty minutes making me out to be the next Ivan the Terrible because I didn't name my praying mantis "Huggyboo".
[And there it is.]
[Audio]
also dude you're in Pokemon land what is so unbelievable about ponies]
As I understand it, she's from a very sheltered world. I don't think she's used to abrasive personalities.
[Yep, he just called you abrasive. He has all the tact of a cinder block. But no, really, he'd feel weird if he didn't even give Fluttershy some token defense after she's practically reigned in his animals for him twice.] It's probably just really jarring for her.
[Audio]
She's raising up a mob with torches and pitchforks because I called Gandhina a mutt. That's not sheltered — that's Salem, 1692.
[Audio]
...
Snerk.
Reid smiles, ducking his head a little to hide it. Albert is so grumpy that it's funny.] Tell me when she ties rocks to your ankles and throws you in a body of water. I'll be concerned then.
[Audio]
Nice to know I've got your full support.
[You guys are so lucky you're brilliant, man.]
So what, she did her Vulcan mind-meld thing and chatted it up with your ghosts for you?
[Audio]
And you love him anyway so. :3 ]
Basically. She just talks to them and she understands when they talk back. She asked to be left alone with them, and ever since they've been wonderful.
[He furrows his brow.] And... really apologetic. They won't stop hugging my legs when we're not doing anything active.
[They sort of might of heard an itty bit about what he does for a living, and then decided that they respected their trainer like hell for it. Not that Reid knows that.]
[Audio]
[At least, that's what he overheard and was able to piece together from Fluttershy's half of the conversation via eavesdropping when he was letting them talk. And why he presumes Dummy's mood went down the drain about five seconds after he set up that discussion in the first place.]
At least you got your half straightened out.
[Audio]
[Aw, poor Dummy, though.] What'd she say to Dummy?
[Audio]