worktodo | 001 | New Bark Town

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001 | New Bark Town | Video;

[Good morning, Johto! Today, for your viewing pleasure, we have...what appears to be the rather dark and damp interior of a Poochyena's mouth, complete with glistening teeth and a tiny smear of drool at the edge of the camera feed. Not a very decent view, but that's okay, because there's plenty of audio to make up for that — and it seems we've tuned in right in the middle of some rather belligerent ranting...]

—ow what kind of game you're playing here, lady, but I have neither the time nor the patience to stand around while some overzealous kitchen marm tries to stuff me full of animal crackers and ship me off to elementary school. I want to know who you are, I want to know where I am, and most importantly I want to know how the hell you got me here to this godforsaken boondocks in the first place. I have plenty of work to do, and I do not have time for your inane prattle. Just give me some answers so I can be on my way.

[There is some background chatter here, which careful listeners may recognize as Mom's standard speech.]

Listen, June Cleaver, I'll make this very clear: I could not care less about these Puggymans you insist on rambling continuously about. The question is simple: where the hell am I?

[More background chatter! Are we sensing a trend?]

Hn. Forget it.

[Footsteps begin to tap across the linoleum, and in response, the camera begins to shake; evidently, the owner of those teeth is trotting over to give her own greeting to this rather angry newcomer to Johto. And it appears, when the footsteps pause, that he's just noticed her.]

What do you want?

[More shaking of the camera, and then suddenly there is bright light and a whole lot of twisting and rotating as the man apparently takes the Gear out of the dog's mouth and turns it over in his hand, twisting it every which way and tapping it as he inspects it. People who get motion sickness, this is really not the video for you.]

...what is this, a toy or some kind of Star Trek — HELLO.

[And hopefully no one had their volume turned up on their gear, because the man holding it is using his Outside Voice as he addresses the microphone that is apparently about three inches away from his face at the moment.]

I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'VE GOT SOME ANSWERS FOR ME, MR. SCOTT?

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[Astrid isn't following him, she's following her pokemon. Of course. Why would she follow him? Don't be silly. Her hands tuck behind her head as she walks, a bit of a stretch before they flop back down at her sides again.]

A ride on what? Nothing I've seen is big enough to ride on here.

[Albert would be loath to admit his next words under normal circumstances as it is; the fact that Astrid is apparently fascinated with dragons just makes it all the worse.]

Apparently, a big dragon.

[Meanwhile, the Poochyena is busily occupying herself with — OH MY GOD LOOK SHE FOUND A STICK AREN'T YOU PROUD

She'll just come bounding back with it in her teeth to see if y'all are proud. ~~Please be proud?~~]

[Astrid frowns. That little detail had been left out of what she's been told.]

I didn't think anything here was big enough to do that. But I haven't seen one around here that's big enough either way.

[Her Axew has not found a stick. But he's eying the stick the pooch found in perhaps a slightly jealous manner as he bounds back to the pair of them.]

You should yell louder, I don't think everyone in the region heard you clearly.

But you're probably not going to get too many answers beyond 'welcome to Johto, here's your superpowered animal, go use it to fight other ones'.

[Normally, Albert wouldn't believe it, either — and part of him still doesn't, honestly — but he's got it on Coop's word and, y'know, sometimes you just have to trust Coop to dance on the rim of the volcano and make magic happen. He's got a knack for coming through when it counts.

He takes the stick when it's offered, carefully avoiding the drooly part with a vague scowl.]

What have you seen around here?

[Experimentally, he jabs the end of the stick toward the Axew, showing apparently no hesitation at the prospect of poking someone else's thing.]

Congratulations, you've echoed every single other person who's turned up to talk to me through this damn thing and told me something I already know. Would you like to continue contributing absolutely nothing of value and go for the hat trick?

Well, you're a touchy one aren't you?

[Envy is already starting to not like this guy. He leans forward a little, resting his chin on the back of his free hand. It also makes it easier to see his eyes, which are currently a very odd shade of bright blue-violet, with pupils like a cat's; it's the only mutation he has that's visible at the moment. But then he shrugs, putting a smirk back on his face.]

I could tell you about using the badges to get home, but then again I do like hat tricks.

Mostly stuff that looks like squirrels. And some birds. Apparently they're all 'pokemon' just...different.

Stop that.

[She hadn't walked very far, she'd spent most of her time mucking with her gear. The Axew narrows his eyes at the poke, and then makes a grab for the stick with his hands and his mouth.]

I have better things to do than dance a two-step with some hack who thinks he's going to get me to beg him to play informant for me. Whatever you've got can't be that worthwhile or you wouldn't so quick to peddle it to me, and more likely than not I can get it just as easily from someone who isn't a punk who thinks playing coy is funny.

[Suffice to say, he's seen plenty of guys like you before, Envy (or so he thinks, at least), and he is not impressed.]

So it's up to you, pal. Spill it or not, but don't waste my time.

Wel~co~me to Jo~hto!

[There's a very happy man with scales and blue patches, smiling in... a bit of a creepy fashion. It's not all perfect though, since he looks a little worn out and ill.]

'Though I'm not Mr.Scott. Sorry.

Edited 2012-07-23 23:18 (UTC)

[And here's an unhappy man in a suit and tan coat having no baseline with which to judge the people he's talking to, so for all he knows they all just look like that as a matter of course.]

Oh, look. And now it's the head of the Lollipop Guild.

Now I wouldn't mind that. Mmm~mm!

One of the few things our maternal welcome-wagon was good for was pointing out that the local wildlife's supposed to be dangerous. It doesn't take a whole lot to scare off some birds and squirrels.

[He lets the Axew grab the stick without further complaint, half watching it to see what it does, but also with a sidelong glance at Astrid to see if she'll pick up the part he didn't say — that presumably if their protectors get bigger, then the wildlife will, too.]

Well, that makes one of us.

Don't like lollipops?

She's not my mother. [For some reason, that really bothered Astrid. Even she wasn't sure why.]

[When the Axew gets the stick he spins in a circle with it, holding it in his hands before bounding over to Astrid. She leans down to take it (after a tiny bit of tug of war) and tosses it into the air once before she throws it across a decent bit away for the Axew to go running after.]

If they're dangerous, they shouldn't have taken my axe away. [She mutters.]But we're supposed to...train...these guys. I think they're supposed to fight off the squirrels and stuff for us.

And why wouldn't I be quick to tell you something important like that? I could just enjoy helping people.

[He tilts his head, smiling ever so cheerfully. No, he definitely doesn't like Albert. So he's just going to do what he does best.]

[Lie shamelessly.]

But I guess since you don't appreciate interesting conversation, I could just tell you. In most of the cities, there are gyms you can fight in. Sixteen of them, and if you can beat all of them you'll be sent home. It's some sort of ridiculous test.

Sir, could you perhaps use a quieter tone of voice? You might find more people willing to help if you did so.

So Madam Homemaker would suggest.

[Not that he's going to be partaking in that anytime soon.]

Or you could just remember that you're roughly fifteen times their size and put your natural advantage to good use.

People who "just enjoy helping people" don't cut deals for their information. Or backpedal when they get caught.

[So clearly this guy is an idiot. He's not surprised.]

A test of what?

Do I look like the candyman to you?

Here's an idea: maybe if you and the rest of the chowderheads that are fixated on the tone of my voice could spare two brain cells to pay attention to answering the questions instead, we'd all get what we want a lot faster. How about that?

I am not a ssssnake charmer!

[At least not in the traditional sense.]

Are you trying to get on my bad side? Because that's all thissss is doing!

Trying would imply it takes effort.

_{[This earns Albert a frown. How threatening.]}

Well, I guess you better start flipping burgers or something, because nobody here needs that.

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