worktodo | 010 | Saffron City

[The video here opens with a shot of Albert's lab, rendered sideways and slightly covered in drool, as viewed from somewhere vaguely floor-level — which would lead to the logical conclusion that the Gear must've come on as a result of Gandhina fetching it, and it's just been deposited at its current vantage point courtesy of its shaggy, overenthusiastic courier.

Albert, at least, doesn't seem to have noticed he's being filmed; he's busy crouching a short distance away, fiddling with something that the camera angle can't quite make out.]

All right, you little bouncy pig, let's see how you're doing.

[He proceeds to shuffle around with something, accompanied by the occasional squeaky oink of what is presumably the aforementioned bouncy pig in question; meanwhile, Gandhina's shaggy nose appears on camera, cheerfully depositing what look like a couple of Ping-Pong-ball-sized Pokeballs near the Gear before disappearing again.]

Looks good...looks okay...yeah. Okay. Ready to get mobile again? Yeah, I know, this is asking a lot of a pig so phenomenally stupid from a basic evolutionary standpoint, but let's shoot for the stars here, huh? All right, get your little...hand over there...damn, it's not long enough. Impy, go get a couple of popsicle sticks out of the kitchen —

[Gandhina's nose reappears again; more of the balls are deposited. A few seconds later, a Sableye appears with the requested popsicle sticks and hands them over, and now the sound of ripping tape can be heard.]

Better? Good. Then we'll just get you secured...

[More ripping tape; more eager oinking.]

There. All right, go on, you little pipsqueak.

[And with that, Albert gets to his feet, unintentionally unveiling — what appears to be a Spoink with its little chest wrapped in bandages, seated comfortably in a little chair and harness apparatus, which is in turn secured to the top of a brightly-colored RC car with big rubber treads. The controller, in turn, is secured in front of the chair and harness in about the place that a steering wheel would be, and the joystick controls now have popsicle sticks affixed to them, putting them in reach of the Spoink's tiny arms.

After a moment of fumbling, the Spoink manages to get one of the levers pushed forward, and the car whirs to life, driving forward and jerking to a stop about a foot ahead of its previous position. It tries again; after a few similar false starts, the electric whine picks up and the RC car hurtles out of sight, taking one exceedingly delighted Spoink with it.]

That's gonna get real obnoxious real fast. ...Ah, hell. It's still better than having it bounce all over the damn place. Who the hell comes up with — hmph. At least it looks like the pacemaker's doing its job.

[He turns around, apparently about to get back to work on his next project, and as Gandhina's nose reappears for a third time, suddenly Albert takes notice of her handiwork.]

...Dammit, Gandhina, did you fetch every one in the damn yard?!

[And as a pair of happy puppy jaws close over the Gear, the video ends.]

[OOC: ~~I can't believe I am actually writing this sentence but~~ Spoink lifesaving pacemaker installation is mod-approved. Action for anyone on the Justice Farm is, as always, welcome. o/]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

_{[... Wow, that sure is a tiny little pig in a remote-controlled car.]}

... Okay, I don't know if that thing has a nickname already or not, but if you don't take advantage of this opportunity to have a Pokemon named Racin' Bacon, I don't know what to say to you.

[Oh, look, it's you, the keeper of the bird who taught Clara to call him "motherfucker". YUP, SURE IS NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.]

It already answers to "Cardiac Arrest". Name's not really applicable anymore thanks to the pacemaker, but it is what it is.

_{[NICE TO SEE YOU TOO, GRUMPY. Just be glad it was 'motherfucker' and not 'shitlord'.]}

Pfffuh. Lame.

At least name the car Racin' Bacon.

No, lame is not being able to stop bouncing because natural selection somehow goofed so damn bad that the mechanism that pumps your heart ended up being a spring in your butt. Praise be to technology, we managed to rebuild the damn thing and it didn't even cost six million dollars. Science marches on.

Not saying your invention isn't awesome, just saying I know a severely missed opportunity when I see one.

Oh well.

So he gets to whiz around in a racecar 24/7 now?

She.

And the whole goal was to get her to stop bouncing around underfoot. Sure, I could've just taped her to the wall or something now that she doesn't need to bounce to keep her heart going, but it doesn't really seem fair to completely deprive a little bouncy pig of all its mobility, now does it.

[That's surprisingly charitable of you, Albert. Are you feeling okay?]

Pretty damn good driver, too, for a pig.

_{[Yeah, she's sort of noticed. It's not like he's suddenly sunshine and flowers or anything, but he seems distinctly less... enraged than normal.]}

Well, the fact that she could even figure out how to work it seems pretty incredible.

She needs a little derby track out in the yard or something where she can practice Tokyo Drifting and stuff.

_{[Yep. Tokyo drifting and stuff.]}

I trained a rat to stand up and dance when and only when it heard Journey on the radio. I can train a pig to push a couple levers around.

[...wat.]

What the hell is a Tokyo drift?

It's when you're driving and you do a big exaggerated turn where you're like... skidding, but it's controlled, so if you do it right you can do these awesome turns without having to slow down.

_{[... And before you ask, no, Heather's never done one. Unless you count unintentional near-accidents on icy Maine roads in the middle of winter. Those driving lessons were fun.]}

What, intentional fishtailing?

[Leave it to the Japanese to come up with all kinds of wacky ideas about driving, apparently. #American egotism]

Why would you want to do that?

Well for one thing, it can be pretty handy if you're in a car chase and wanna gain a little ground by not having to lose speed when you turn.

_{[She is pretty much assuming that it's inevitable that Cardiac Arrest will wind up in a car chase eventually. Because there is literally no way you can put a miniature pig in a tiny race car and NOT be subject to Heartwarming Animal-Related Comedy tropes.]}

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