She.

And the whole goal was to get her to stop bouncing around underfoot. Sure, I could've just taped her to the wall or something now that she doesn't need to bounce to keep her heart going, but it doesn't really seem fair to completely deprive a little bouncy pig of all its mobility, now does it.

[That's surprisingly charitable of you, Albert. Are you feeling okay?]

Pretty damn good driver, too, for a pig.