[WHY IS EVERYONE UP IN ARMS ABOUT THIS, JESUS. Ten-year-olds wandering through the wilderness alone? A-OK! Leaving a pair of fifteen-year-olds in a hotel room in a good part of town in a reasonably safe city overnight? HEINOUS.]

Look, if I break down into Viking-sized chunks what it is I'm doing over here — for one night, I might add — will you quit with the attitude?