007 | Saffron City | Audio;

( Filtered to Federal Agents - Dale Cooper, Gordon Cole, Spencer Reid, and Ziva David )

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[The voice on the audio here is rapid and succinct — Albert in his natural state.]

Three things. Number one, I thought the special-delivery egg thing was bad enough, but now it looks like we've graduated into the post-hatched ones, too. Let me make this clear: this is not a foster home. So if you're one of the dunderheads whose animal went missing lately, I'd suggest you make getting your butt down to the lost and found a priority right about now. There's a couple here that might be yours, and I'm not planning on playing babysitter forever.

Number two: For anybody looking to make a quick buck, you find me one of these things —


— and we'll talk bounty for it.

And number three: while I realize this is asking a lot of a world where the application of physics itself occasionally depends on whether or not you've got a piece of plastic clipped to your coat, is it even possible to get an actual turkey around here, or am I going to have to go make do with serving up some kind of fire chicken or psychic goose next week?